My Jeep Night.
Comments(2) A chronological account of my night out.
11:30pm: My friend instant messages to tell me that he won’t be able to hang out and play XBOX tonight. It’s a bummer, but he’s got a pretty good reason: no sleep. I can relate. It’ll be a boring night without him, but I’ll manage. I’ve got an idea.
12:15am: I grab my warm jacket and put my boots on. I’m going for a drive in the jeep. I went down a trail last night, but I stopped because nobody knew where I was, and I didn’t want to get stuck all alone way out in the boonies unless someone could know where to find me.
12:30am: Kiss Jamie goodbye and tell her I put directions to my whereabouts on the kitchen counter. I should be back around 3:30, and I’ll let her know when I get home. Just in case though, I reminded her about the directions.
12:40am: Stop off at the mini mart to grab some water and a couple power bars. I am a little hungry, but I don’t really want to go all the way into town to grab Jack-in-the-Box. I gotta get going, if I want to make it back on time.
1:10am: I hit the end of Germany Creek Road, and begin the short logging road jaunt to the trail I was at last night. I think I’ll bring Jamie out here tomorrow. She’ll like that. It could be a little mini-date.
1:20am: I exit the logging road and head into the woods. The trail looks like it used to be a logging road, but has grown over a little. Ferns and bushes graze the undercarriage of my jeep as low hanging branches slide over my soft top. I don’t put it into 4WD because it’s more fun to slip and slide around in the muddy trail. A couple of quick taps on the gas throws mud onto my hood.
1:22am: I get to the artificial end of the road where a bulldozer has made a large mound. It’s no biggie though, because there’s a well worn trail right around it. I remind myself to keep left on the way back because it look a little muddier on the right.
1:35am: I reach the point where I had turned around the night prior. It’s a larger tree across the trail, and I have to make a wide turn to avoid it. I think to myself that it wasn’t all that bad after all, but applaud myself for having the wisdom to not temp fate.
1:55am: I reach a dead end. I get out of the jeep to check it out, and make sure that I just haven’t lost the trail. I don’t think I can see anywhere else I could go, so I decide to turn around to go back.
2:05am: I find an offshoot trail, so I go down it. It’s another dead end. Back I go.
2:30am: I see the artificial barrier, and start to drive around it. It’s been raining. I try to stay left, but the slope is too steep. My tires can’t find traction. I am stuck.
2:35am: After 5 minutes of rocking back and forth with the jeep, it’s fairly apparent that I have become hopelessly stuck. The front right of the jeep is down so far in the muck, that the bumper is submersed as well on that side. I see I am going to need to winch my way out of this one. Glad I spent the moolah on that little saving grace.
2:40am: I’ve got the cable tied to a tree, and I’m ready to finally use the winch for the very first time. I won’t get laughed at anymore for having such a useless expensive hood ornament. Wait until they all hear about this…
2:41am: !#!@#, #@$%, ^$%#@!!!! I can’t believe that my solenoid is fried. I just CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!! How could that have happened. I mean I haven’t even USED the thing, and it’s already in need of REPAIR?!?! You have GOT to be kidding me.
2:45am: Yep, it seems no amount of clicking the switch helps. It’s busted. No easy winch job for me. I get to get out the old fashioned way. Good thing I have NO IDEA WHAT THAT EVEN MEANS!!! I get back into the jeep and start rocking it again.
2:55am: I’m never getting out of this without help. I can’t believe I got myself into this mess. I’m gonna have to get on the CB, or cell phone, or walk my happy arse out of here and get some help. I am already embarrassed at the proposition. NO! I will get out of this if it takes me all night. I have until at least 7am until Seth wakes Jamie up, and that isn’t until another 4 hours. I have got to get myself out of this. I do what I know. I keep rocking.
3:05am: Time for a survey. After chucking rocks and other debris into the quite deep hole filled with mud-soup. I also remember I had left the back door of the jeep open, and had heard a bump from back there last time I was rocking in reverse. AWWWW. I look to see a nice dent in the door. Well, THAT’S AWESOME…
3:10am: More rocks into the pool. Try again.
3:15am: More rocks into the pool. Try again.
3:20am: More rocks into the pool. Try again.
3:25am: More rocks into the pool. Try again. Jamie is going to be soooo pissed at me.
3:30am: More rocks into the pool. Try the Winch again…. and still not working. More rocks into the pool. Try rocking again.
3:35am: More rocks into the pool. Try again. Somethings different. I can almost make it…
3:40am: More rocks into the pool. Try again. WHOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO SUCESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
3:41am: Hollering and whooping abound. I am literally screaming I am so happy. I can’t believe I made it out. I can’t believe I didn’t break anything important (that I can see). I just can’t believe that after all that time sitting, and throwing rocks, it’s over JUST LIKE THAT!
3:50am: Back on pavement. I can hardly see anything out any windows, since I ran out of washer fluid long ago. I watch the white and yellow lines to make sure I don’t go off the road. Wouldn’t that be just the icing on the cake?
4:15am: I stop off at the local mini mart to wash my mud-caked windows. I note that I can’t see a speck of my paint under all that mud. I’ve been branded by the trail. It hurt, but I’m proud I made it through. I don’t think I will take Jamie out there after all. At least I won’t take her past the “pit of despair”. She may want to see what made all that mess, but she sure won’t want to re-live it. Maybe… I’ll take her to dinner and a movie instead.
WARNING!! The above story is a lesson on what can happen when you mix boredom with a jeep. Each ingredient alone is inert. However, when mixed, it’s a powerful concoction and can be extremely volatile and dangerous, in the wrong hands.
Good thing I knew what I was doing. (*wink* *wink*)
