Last week was a tricky one for me, and not just at work. To compound things, the wife and I have been dealing with some issues that have made their way to the surface. Suffice it to say that things aren’t great, but marriage and relationships in general are always a work in progress. At least they should be.
So. Last week I was sitting at home looking forward to another night at the jail when I got a call from work. It wasn’t that weird. I usually get a couple calls each day wanting to know if I would like to work some overtime. This one was different. Since I screen my calls from “unknown caller” (thank you caller-ID), I let the machine get the message. The usual request for overtime was nowhere to be found. Instead, I listened to my sergeant ask me to come in so that they could do adebrief . This meant that something serious had happened. A debrief only occurs after something serious, so I quickly called back and asked what had happened.
I talked to a fellow CO who filled me in that there was a serious suicide attempt. The inmate had locked himself in his room andproceeded to try and hang himself.
I really didn’t want to go to work to deal with this kind of incident. I was sort of selfish in this way. I felt bad about it, but not enough to go to work 5 hours early.
At around 11, I got another call and decided to get my rear in gear and go help out. SO, to work I went.
At work, everyone seemed like they were in a bit of a haze. Something like this really affects us. We ARE human after all, even if we sometimes have to pretend we aren’t.
I have only had to deal with this once, so far. I was only on the job for about a year and I was on graveyard. Shortly after midnight, there was a call for officers to respond to the south area of the jail. We all rushed to the area to see our sergeant holding an inmate up to relieve pressure on the noose that was tied around his neck. We used a “J-hook” knife to cut him down. As soon as he was on the ground I saw the blood around him from his nose.
We performed CPR until the paramedics arrived, but he did not survive. It was horrible. It was absolutely horrible.
They say that in every shocking situation, you will remember one small detail that will ingrain itself into your memory. For me, it was the terrible sound of air leaving the man’s body after every breath we gave him. I will never forget.
***Back to the present.***
The young man that attempted to kill himself was distraught, and had apparently just received bad news about his prison time. This was probably not the only thing that led him to this decision, but I am sure it was the last straw.
He was slated to leave for prison the following morning, and decided that he wasn’t going back.
Officers were called to the area by inmates who happened to walk by his door and saw him hanging. They arrived shortly thereafter and cut him down. He was still alive.
It was a miracle. It was a miracle, but he was still in bad shape. He was rushed to the ER, where he was treated and admitted to the hospital.
Under double guard, he was watched for a couple of days, and after his recovery was taken to prison. We even made a special trip, just for him.
This isn’t the first time we have been able to save someone. There are some stories that are even more incredulous than this one; this is just the most recent.
Unfortunately, there are others that make it. Last year, my cousin was in jail. We didn’t really know each other. We didn’t grow up together, we didn’t ever hang out, we didn’t have any relationship really, but we DID know who each of us were. We made small talk while she was in jail. I treated her no worse or better than any other inmate, but sometimes we gave each other a look. A look that said we just KNEW each other.
She tried and was successful. I wasn’t there during that shift, but I was… I don’t know. I still don’t know how I really feel about that.
Mostly, I was heart broken for my aunt and uncle. They live about 4 hours away, but had given so much of their time and energy and love trying to keep this girl out of harms way. In the end, however, it was her own hand that had done the worst harm. I suppose that it is always this way. We do the worst things to ourselves.
I was unable to tell them directly about their daughter due to my administration not letting me. I suppose that if this happens again, I just won’t ask. It was wrong to let them hear about it after it came out in the paper. I tried to be the first to call them and let them know, but I was too late. Grandma beat me to the punch. At least I got to tell them what I knew, and that I was so sorry. I was. I am.
Sorry for such a long post. I just had to get some of this off of my chest. I will try for a little lighter reading next time.

A couple of weeks ago, I sent my boss an e-mail asking him if he would look at changing one of our policies. It wasn’t a huge thing, but I thought that I might as well ask. I probably shouldn’t give the specifics, but it had to do with how officers man a certain station at work.
So, I sent him an e-mail explaining the reasons why I thought the policy should be changed and asked for him to take a look at it for me/us. He replied that he would look into it and take it to the sergeants meeting for all of them to mull over.
I was pleased. It was nice to not have a quick “no”, but an actual thoughtful look into the policy. That was about a week ago.
The sergeants meeting was a couple of days ago, and I got an e-mail from my boss explaining that while the face of the idea seemed like it would be ok, it ultimately wouldn’t work. I was thanked for my request and told that I was more than welcome to submit more ideas in the future. It was a bummer that it didn’t look like it was going to work. I knew that the chance was slim, but if I hadn’t of said anything, then I would be bothered that I didn’t ask at all.
I decided that I wanted some more information. I mean, the reason I was given for the denial seemed a bit broad, so I shot off another e-mail to my boss listing the reasons I thought it may have been denied and also rebutting those reasons.
I explained to him that I knew he had already made his decision, but that his explanation of the denial didn’t make sense.
Here’s where it gets a bit negative. I tried to come across as joking and light-hearted as possible so I wouldn’t sound angry or disrespectful. I wasn’t angry at all, but I am afraid that is exactly how I ended up coming across.
I started the e-mail off with a joke. I addressed it to “Big Bad [my boss's name]“. Unfortunately, this must have set a negative tone with the thought that I was accusing him of being a “Big Bad” power hungry jerk. This was as far from the truth as it could be, but with that thought in his head, every other thing I wrote came off like I was being a prick. And if I think about it now, I would have sounded like a HUGE prick if the things I wrote were taken the way he took them.
The good thing is that he caught me in the hall on my way to leave and asked to talk to me. He asked me about it, and it was obvious that he was bothered by it. I assured him numerous times that my intention was nothing malicious. I even put a PS in that assured him that everything I wrote was “with a smile and not a frown.” The thing is, is that by the time he read the PS, it was already too late.
I am glad he talked to me though. He got to vent a bit about the e-mail, and I got my question answered. Come to find out, the reasons for the denial of my original request made sense. It was nice to hear the full information, and not just a snippet too.
Jeesh, this e-mail thing sure can be a double edged sword.
The last couple of things I have been talked to about involved e-mail. Have you ever gotten into trouble, or been totally misunderstood because of an e-mail? Tell me about it in the comments.