Seriously. Someone hire me to surf the web or something.

Ok, so nobody is ACTUALLY going to pay me to surf the ‘ol triple W’s, but there must be something better than THIS!
I know what you’re thinking: “STFU (Southern Tenant Farmers Union) about your job already! Quit whining and buck up cowboy!” OK OK OK! There’s just this small hitch still in my giddy-up about it though, and I can’t really think of any way to fix it. Suggestions? On to other things:
As some of you may already know, our house is for sale. It has been for sale since before it was even finished, so no biggie there. However, we have heard that there is a little old lady from out of town that is “sort of” interested in the house. I am always skeptical when it comes to our house, since we have been on the market for so long. It gets hard to keep a stiff upper lip when you never get any bites, but plenty of nibbles. For those of you not familiar with fishing analogies, a bite would be a person actually making an offer on the house, while a nibble would be one of our abundant “lookers”. In this case, as with them all, only time will tell.
Jeesh, I sound like such a baby. Boo hoo for me, I am so sad. I want my mommy. Well, so what. I am a curmudgeony (?) old man of 30, and I don’t really care. (Ok, I do, but don’t tell anyone)

After I returned from Vegas, I got a letter from my father. It was a very nice letter, and something I didn’t expect. It is always nice to hear how much my dad loves me. He is a good man, and his approval is nice to hear. The other thing he sent was a check for a few bucks. He said that it was for Starbucks, but I decided to use it to finally break down and get us something my wife has been asking for since we got married.
I got a puppy. I went to the doctor on Tuesday for my right elbow pain (I found out I have “Tennis Elbow”), and sleep problems. Since I moved to swing shift, I have been unable to get more than a few hours of sleep each night. This is maddening, since I also am the child care for us when Jamie is as school during the week. Sleepy dad syndrome does not make child care that easy.
Anyway, after my appointment with the Doc, I went to the Humane Society to see what it might take/cost to adopt a puppy. Twenty minutes later and a call to Jamie, I was on my way home with our newest member of the Treichel family, Rocky.

He is a Boxer mix, but doesn’t have the tell-tale boxer face. He is pretty mellow so far, but I imagine that this will change in the next couple of weeks.
He likes to sit anywhere you are, and will whine for you to pick him up so he can nap on your lap. He is a light brown with black highlights, and has some white on his neck and chest.
I have been very resistant to getting a dog for a long time, and I really don’t know what prompted me to change my mind, but I am glad I did… at least for now. I know that pets are work, and I know that cleaning up poop and pee may change my mind.
I also know that my kids absolutely love “Rocky”, and if we take care of him, will provide companionship and entertainment for years to come.
If we could just get him house-broken sooner rather than later….

So, after my ordeal in Las Vegas and Reno, I was so glad to be home that I almost forgot about what was awaiting me. My house.

My house hates me. I swear it does.

I have been trying to sell it since I started construction in 2004, and haven’t gotten even one offer. Not that I wouldn’t live here if the payment wasn’t so high, because I would love to not have to move again. Unfortunately, it really is too expensive, so I hate it, and it hates me.
For instance, a couple of years ago when I tried to get my final inspection papers, the inspector said that all was good and clear. I was so happy after he left and I had my papers in hand. I thought that maybe all of the hard work was finally done. The kicker came five minutes later, when the guy returned and asked to see his inspection papers again. After handing them to him, he said that he wasn’t supposed to sign off on the house yet. He was supposed to go under the house, and it was too wet, (boo-hoo for him) so he couldn’t sign off until it dried out. He left and took my papers with him. Three weeks later, he came again, and said that he couldn’t sign because the water was still to high, and that I would need to get it to be able to stay dried out before he would sign. To this day, two years later, it is still wet under there, and I am still waiting for my final inspection papers. So see, my house has it in for me.
This time, however, it wasn’t just water that was the problem. I came home to find that my house had taken a crap all over my backyard. The sewage tank was overflowing, and there was raw sewage literally oozing up from the ground where my tank was.
Well, we can’t have that, I needed to get it fixed. For starters, I had my original installer out to look at the problem, and he said that there was a grease blockage. So then, I called Roto-Rooter. They said that I would need to have my tank pumped, so I called All-Out Septic, and they sent a guy out, Justin.
Justin told me that if I wanted to get the tank pumped, it would cost about 350 smackaroos. Whoopee, I have 50 bucks in my account, maybe he could only suck one seventh of the crap out. Before I called him, though, I got a brilliant idea.

“Maybe I could get the blockage out with a hose, and some home grown ingenuity.”

Nope. After about an hour leaning into the second tank (the empty one) trying to shove a water hose into the drain to clear the blockage, it became clear that Justin was going to be my only option. So, covered in mud and poo water, I had Jamie throw down the phone, and effectively raised my white flag. My house had won again.
Justin came over and looked at the situation. After quoting me his price, he got his own brilliant idea. He thought that my kind of tank might have a filter between the chambers. Ok, I didn’t see one when I was face to face with the poo, but he was more than welcome to try and find it if he wanted. He left the poo covered yard at the back of my house and returned shortly with shovel in hand. Uhh, ok, he was the “expert”, but poo-digging wasn’t for me so I let him have at it.
He dug a hole midway between the two chambers, and to my surprise, *CLANK*, he hit something hard. Little did I know, but there is a filter between the two chambers. A FILTER!!! Ahhh!!! Of course, to filter the good poo from the bad poo. Right…, why didn’t I think of that. He pulled the filter up, and it was like he flushed all of my problems down the toilet. The sewage immediately went back to where it was supposed to be, (not in the yard) and my problems were solved. Hooray for Justin!!!
I asked him what I owed him, and he said that the problem was so minor (to him) that I didn’t need to pay him anything. ALRIGHT, my kind of price!!!
So, after I filled in all of the holes, and cleaned the toilet paper from the yard, the score is now House-1, Joel-1. All in all, a draw. For now…*shakes fist*
Anyone care to take a guess as to what was clogging the filter??